My dear friends Thank you so much for your love, support and prayers in this painful and difficult time of my life.
I’ve always been very private with my personal life and even more if it was challenging moments. I would only share happy moments and if I was going through difficult times I would make sure nobody would know about it and put my happy face on for the picture. My mom would prohibit me to say anything to anybody about her illness, she didn’t want anybody to know about it but it was so hard, and still is, on me. Since we found out about her illness I tried to do everything I could possibly do to help her. My life and the way I look at life changed when she got sick. It changed how I eat, how I think and I realized what really matters in life. I would do constant research on anything that could help her and that is how my life has been the last 3 years. The knowledge that I collected about this illness treatments made it possible for me to help so many other women who are struggling with this terrible illness and some of them even got healed from the knowledge that I could share with them. Something beautiful came out of this horrible experience.
My life have never been easy. I’ve had many challenges and very difficult times but nothing compares to what I’m going through right now. The thought of loosing my mom breaks my heart to such a degree that no words can describe. All your support means more to me than you can ever imagine.
I’m writing this post to all of you that was so kind to send me private messages with love and support and I’m sorry for not being able to respond to all of you but it’s just to painful to talk about my mothers state over and over again. I Love you all so much and thank you again from the bottom of my heart
My Angel Mother’s Current state is this: since she came out from her Coma she got completely paralyzed, she can’t walk, she can’t even go the restroom by herself, that’s why she is connect to a cater. The only part of her body that is functioning is her face and some moments her brain so she can talk but very little. The doctor’s gave her 1 week of life. It’s devastating to see her that I love the most in this world suffer like this. I would rather give up my life than to see her go through this. Life doesn’t have much of a meaning if I can’t share accomplishments and success with the person I love the most in this world. It’s like a part of me is dying.
Two weeks ago she was this young beautiful woman battling 3 years of brain cancer but she was determined in every moment that she will come out of it and raise her grandchildren. Even when she lost her hair and she gained weight from chemotherapy she picked herself up and started going to the gym, she became a vegan, she refused to give up and see her self down. My mother is the kind of person that would take care of all the children in the world she is so giving, hard working, generous, kind and loving. She never hesitated to give up her life to give us, her children, a better future. She is a true example for me.
She’s been asking me for 3 years now to give her grandchildren.
She said to me: just give them to me and I’ll take care of them and you can go and do your thing if you are busy, (ohh my mother). So I promised her grandchildren by the time I’m 30 (Still have a long time to go) so I keep telling her that she need to come out of this state she is now in so I can keep my promise and give her grandchildren and the life that she deserves, but in two weeks her body, her speech, her brain has completely transformed and she is not herself at all anymore and the thought of loosing her makes me not want live myself.
I’m a strong person but this is just too painful and confusing but I know I have to be strong for her and my angel brothers.
When you are about to loose somebody or you lost them already you start thinking about all the things that you should’ve said or done or everything that you planed to do with this person, so let’s live our life’s like it’s the last day of our life’s.
Call me a dreamer but I believe in miracles (I’ve had many throughout my life) so even though doctors gave her 1 week of life I still believe she will come out of this and be with us again.
If you can and want to please pray for her recovery. Thank you all and bless you all.